“Today you can, tomorrow you cannot”

Assalam alaikoum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh,

Subhan Allah, it is as though this video is directed RIGHT AT ME! Ya Allah! Timely advice by Brother Nouman Ali Khan indeed!

It’s true, family will be the first to notice your changes and they can be your toughest critic as well! 3 years ago, when I decided to turn my life around, I was all alone in overcoming obstacles. I can understand how hard it was going through transitions on your own and even harder when your family doesn’t understand you.

Al-hamdulillah, it works when you have thick skin (hehe). I learnt the art of ‘selective hearing’ whereby I choose to listen only to positive comments. And it’s wonderful that Allah has given me the ability to smile despite being insulted. However, still… I have much to learn when dealing with the Big Bro who has tongue of a serpent- his hiss is worst than his bite! Allahu Mustaan..

I believe I have changed for the better al-hamdulillah although I’m still working on my ‘leftover jahilliyah’ traits. My family, in fact, changed for the better too even though I mentioned it was difficult at the beginning. At first, I found it quite impossible to give da’wah to my family especially since I spend many months abroad each year but al-hamdulillah, Allah guided my dad next! He became my source of support and would constantly encourage my mother to attend Islamic classes.

Still…. the issues I face before do not cease so quickly. If you’re wondering, I still get these remarks:

  • Why is your hijaab so big? It makes you look short!
  • Why wear the abaya when you are only meeting your Chinese friend?” (note that she is a Chinese Muslimah!)
  • You look like an ustazah now! (negative connotation of course! People here have this misconception that ustazahs (or religious teachers) are uneducated!)
  • Your mother doesn’t even wear abaya and yet you wear it? You look so old!
  • You’re going to marry an ustadh! (implying that I’ll marry someone poor and uneducated)

This list coming from family and relatives, is not exhaustive.. I especially dislike that just because I attend religious classes now, I’m expected to be purrrrfectttt. No way, I’M ONLY HUMAN! Since when did religious classes ensure you MAKE NO MORE MISTAKES in life?

One reason why I had been pretty upset lately is due to one of my family members disapproving my muslimah friends. What have my sisters done to them or EVEN me to begin with that the particular family member have this intense hate for them? I have abandoned most of my close old friends (majority Christian friends) because they were trying to pull me to Christianity which at one point, I was greatly influenced by their beliefs. Are these old friends better for me than my current Muslimah sisters.. Subhan Allah!

Anyhow, if whatever that is being described about my life is parallel to yours, then the lecture is for you! I can attest to what Brother Nouman said in the lecture about going the extra mile for them. You’ll be surprised that your own family members would try to become better Muslims themselves..

Allahu Alam..

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8 thoughts on ““Today you can, tomorrow you cannot”

  1. Asalamu aliakuam!
    I know! I loved this lecture! I watch all of his lectures, lol.

    I have a lot of the same problems as you. “Why don’t you at least wear color? Why are you wearing such a big khimar (scarf)? How are you going to get married? You’ll marry someone ‘poor’ and uneducated (like you said)..” SIGH.

    I’m happy to read though that your family has also changed for the better, ma’sahAllah. My father alhamdillah was always practicing and he liked the abaya– he just had problems with the niqab. It’s the uncles and aunts that I have problems with.

    • wa alaik salam wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh Sis πŸ™‚

      He drives his points straight home which is very rare in most speakers and that’s what I like about him..

      Haha @ the questions.. Nothing new eh? They don’t realise that we want husbands who will appreciate us for our Deen (and of course for who we are) and not based on outer appearance :/

      Al-hamdulillah yes slow changes.. I know a sister who did 180 degrees transition in her life and every single member of her family changed too. Now, all of them are upon the Deen subhan Allah! Since you wear niqaab, is your father more accepting of it now? Are your uncles and aunts more accepting of you ever since you embraced niqaab? I find that it’s the relatives who I find difficult to contend with!

  2. This is the lecture you told me about right? I watched it some time back and absolutely loved it! πŸ™‚

    Subhan Allah, this is so weird, you guys get exactly the same questions that I do. Why can’t you wear color? Why do you have to dress like an old lady? Then there’s the you’ll marry someone poor and uneducated!

    Lol, some time back, one of my relatives predicted I’ll be living in some backwards island in a hut with twelve dozen kids and my fisherman husband! πŸ˜› I think it’ll be a serene life, don’t you think? *winks*

    It’s the relatives who are bothersome true, but as long your family is accepting, than thats the most important thing, right? Insha Allah, your family will soon completely accept whatever changes you want to make πŸ™‚

    • Subhan Allah, I really can’t remember but it must be this lecture insha Allah πŸ™‚

      Hahaha.. I think the most common would be: how are you going to find a husband! Like as though all the men in the world will only go for those who don’t wear hijaab. Al-hamdulillah, there are good brothers out there insha Allah!

      Haha@ your relatives having such a dim view of your life! So negative!! I would have said, that would have been such a great life, I would love to have that! I can imagine their faces turning red, probably unsure how to react lol.

      Al-hamdulillah, my family has so far been very supportive of me πŸ™‚ I think it’s more like my extended family who has a problem with my change. But I think, so as long as my own family is supportive of me, then I can’t be bothered about what others think.

  3. Asalamualaikum sister….
    mashaAllah..what a lovely blog you have sister..and yeah Brother Nouman Ali Khan is soo amazing in getting his points across mashaAllah…and its so nice coming across this blog of yours…May Allah bless you and your family! Ameen. πŸ™‚

    May I include your blog in the list of my blogroll sister…?

    • Wa alaik salam wa Rahmatullaah Sr Nasmira πŸ™‚

      Sorry for the late reply :/ All praises be to Him only! Thank you for your kind words sis πŸ™‚ You should check out his other videos too! He has really good tafseer lectures too πŸ™‚

      Aameen! May Allah bless you and your family too sis πŸ™‚ Thank you for dropping by! πŸ™‚ You are most welcome to include in blogroll! Jazakillah Khayr!

      • yeah sis..Brother Nouman’s lectures are priceless is all i can say! the most amazing part is that he manages to take just one line from a surah and speaks about it for an hour and a half..im always sad when his speeches get over and keep searching for his new videos on youtube and halaltube… may Allah bless him and preserve him..what an asset he and others are to this ummah mashaAllah..it feels privileged that Allah blessed us with speakers like these..alhamdulillah a 1000 times over! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

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