Assalam alaikoum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh,
Subhan Allah, it is as though this video is directed RIGHT AT ME! Ya Allah! Timely advice by Brother Nouman Ali Khan indeed!
It’s true, family will be the first to notice your changes and they can be your toughest critic as well! 3 years ago, when I decided to turn my life around, I was all alone in overcoming obstacles. I can understand how hard it was going through transitions on your own and even harder when your family doesn’t understand you.
Al-hamdulillah, it works when you have thick skin (hehe). I learnt the art of ‘selective hearing’ whereby I choose to listen only to positive comments. And it’s wonderful that Allah has given me the ability to smile despite being insulted. However, still… I have much to learn when dealing with the Big Bro who has tongue of a serpent- his hiss is worst than his bite! Allahu Mustaan..
I believe I have changed for the better al-hamdulillah although I’m still working on my ‘leftover jahilliyah’ traits. My family, in fact, changed for the better too even though I mentioned it was difficult at the beginning. At first, I found it quite impossible to give da’wah to my family especially since I spend many months abroad each year but al-hamdulillah, Allah guided my dad next! He became my source of support and would constantly encourage my mother to attend Islamic classes.
Still…. the issues I face before do not cease so quickly. If you’re wondering, I still get these remarks:
- Why is your hijaab so big? It makes you look short!
- Why wear the abaya when you are only meeting your Chinese friend?” (note that she is a Chinese Muslimah!)
- You look like an ustazah now! (negative connotation of course! People here have this misconception that ustazahs (or religious teachers) are uneducated!)
- Your mother doesn’t even wear abaya and yet you wear it? You look so old!
- You’re going to marry an ustadh! (implying that I’ll marry someone poor and uneducated)
This list coming from family and relatives, is not exhaustive.. I especially dislike that just because I attend religious classes now, I’m expected to be purrrrfectttt. No way, I’M ONLY HUMAN! Since when did religious classes ensure you MAKE NO MORE MISTAKES in life?
One reason why I had been pretty upset lately is due to one of my family members disapproving my muslimah friends. What have my sisters done to them or EVEN me to begin with that the particular family member have this intense hate for them? I have abandoned most of my close old friends (majority Christian friends) because they were trying to pull me to Christianity which at one point, I was greatly influenced by their beliefs. Are these old friends better for me than my current Muslimah sisters.. Subhan Allah!
Anyhow, if whatever that is being described about my life is parallel to yours, then the lecture is for you! I can attest to what Brother Nouman said in the lecture about going the extra mile for them. You’ll be surprised that your own family members would try to become better Muslims themselves..