Assalam alaikoum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakaatuh,
In one of the lectures I heard awhile ago, the speaker mentioned something along this line which is pertinent to what I’m facing : When you make Hijrah towards being closer to Him, some friends will start to make hijrah away from you.
When I was walking back home yesterday, I saw this girl heading my direction with her friend. She must have seen me, I’m quite certain of that, but she turned her face away. I was after all only one in her path that time of the day, so how could she have not seen me? I would be lying if I said I wasn’t annoyed.
We were not close but before, we used to hold long conversations when we do meet or would at least wave or smile when we bump into each other in school.
In recent years however, when I changed, things changed as well. I could be walking right in front of her but she would not even acknowledge my presence. She could be talking to my friend who was standing BESIDE ME but ignore me completely. Anyway, some of my sisters would tell me to husnul zon since she is after all our sister in Islam but after being shunned many times, I get the message!
Yes I get it!!! I’m different now.. Maybe you find me an extremist too but heck do I care? Nope! I’ll dress to please HIM ONLY even if that means I’ll look ridiculous in your eyes. I’ll speak about HIM fondly and if that makes you cringe, then sorry I couldn’t care less. I’ll practise my Deen as legislated by Allah swt and His messenger not according to my desires so if that is difficult for you to accept, then unfortunately I’ll not change for you. It’s really getting on my nerves that such people do exist..
It is most unfortunate though that I’m getting shunned by my own Muslims. I remember that before, I would avoid wearing abaya to this lecture where there were many Muslims because I’ve been given the dirty look. However, it’s surprising because non-Muslims would readily befriend me in that lecture despite the abaya. A close friend who is a non-Muslim applauded my change and even complimented on my dressing. She is not embarrased to be seen on campus with me and in fact, would gladly introduce her friends to me. See the contrast? Subhan Allah!
As much I complain about such ‘friends’ (note that she’s not the only one who’s been shunning me!), Allah swt has in fact blessed me with many wonderful sisters upon the Deen. They choose to abandon me but Allah has replaced them with better friends al-hamdulillah! Three years ago, when I was making the transition, one of the duas I made was that I wanted friends upon the Deen. I needed someone to remind me of Him constantly as I was weak on my own. Al-hamdulillah, today I have more sisters than what I asked for initially and they keep coming into my life 🙂
So yes, I lose one today but Allah will bless me with someone better to replace them tomorrow.