Depending on God

Assalam alaikoum wa Rahmatullaah wa Barakaatuh,

Depending on God written by Yasmin Mogahed

I chanced upon this article whilst browsing Facebook yesterday. It’s a bit lengthy but a beneficial one insha’Allah.

I felt like as though this article was meant for me to read and reflect upon. Ever since I came back, there was this spiritual void which dwelled inside. Irritated, and especially agitated, I did not know how to fill this void. I had spent days crying and was at my lowest end. Worse, I had even started the ‘mourning’ period a month before I was back.

Two weeks ago, I had packed all of my things and came back to my country permanently. Most people would be excited to return to the familiar faces and place. I was, however, half hearted to be back as I had spent so many years abroad that I felt like a foreigner in my own home.

I had wondered why this emptiness within persists but I understand now that it had been due to my strong attachments to the Dunya. Material goods, places, status and even people are part of the Dunya that Sr Yasmin had discussed in her other lecture called “Overcoming sadness and depression”. She described the creation of Allah as being beautiful from far away but when you become too close to it, it hurts you. She used the analogy of the sun being beautiful from far but burns you when it gets too close. Another analogy is the clouds as being beautiful but disappears when you get into it just like a mirage. How profound!

My attachments had mainly been the people I was closest to. Being away from family, friends were the substitute. I had close relationships with the older sisters who treated me like their own daughter and little sister. Most of my time had been spent with them – from school or at the office to sleepovers and meals together – they were always around 24/7. I was especially close to a sister there and I was crushed when it was time to leave. Reality started to creep in later as there is little or no possibility of seeing each other again . How do you reconcile with that when my life had revolved a lot around her? Returning home felt like I was leaving a huge part of me behind and that was the hardest to come to terms with. People have said Β ‘you’re born in Sgp, you’ll get used to it’; ‘shouldn’t be that difficult to adapt’. But until they walk a mile in my shoes, they will never be able to fathom what I was and still going through.

I realised that our dependence should be on Allah aza wa jal alone. Anything or anyone who has a big place in our heart , chances are we will get hurt in the future when they leave us. They will leave us eventually either due to worldly affairs or death. What happens when they leave? How do we cope then with loss if we are too dependent on them?

Sr. Yasmin said thatΒ “When you take your relationship and try to depend on them (or get too close), and try to put somebody at a place where only Allah SWT can be -either in your love, dependency, that will be your source of pain. It will torment you, it will hurt you and let you down. “

Subhan’Allah.. If you find that there is something of this Dunya that you depend on or as a source of happiness in your life, then trust that a day will come where you will get hurt. Humans are social creatures and we cannot deny the need to Β interact constantly and love but the only one who should have a big place in our hearts should be no other than Him alone.

Allah knows best our affairs!

5 thoughts on “Depending on God

  1. salam ‘alaik sis.
    Syukran for sharing. πŸ˜€
    I too, always feel like there’s a big hole in my heart. It is when I’m too immersed with dunyaa. Astaghfirullah. Yes, Eeman fluctuates – sometimes, you feel like you enjoy doing good deeds, and sometimes you feel like being a slacker. Most people know about this piece of fact but they tend to, like, JUST accept it and do nothing about it. The best devotee is that the one when he/she realizes that his/her eeman is declining, he/she/ll do something to top up it back. May all of us be the best devotees of Allah, insha Allah.
    May Allah bless us.

    • Wa alaik salam wa Rahmatullaah Sis!

      Jazakillah Khayr for sharing your thoughts and reminder with me too! πŸ™‚

      That’s very true sis.. Our eemaan fluctuates a lot and sometimes we do not realize how attached we are in this Dunya until it hurts us. And that’s when we know it’s time to shift our focus and love to Him. Aameen to your duas! And May He make us amongst the patient during times of hardship and pain!

  2. Assalaam Alaikum Sis! πŸ™‚

    It’s been ages, hasn’t it? How have you been? Back home for good huh? I can’t imagine what that must feel like. I’ve been in SL for nearly five years and truth be told, I think I’m a little scared of going back to live in Maldives now. Funny isn’t it, when your home feels strange?

    I’ll definitely be checking out this article. One thing I’ve learned is that of all the attachments and dependencies we form in this Dunya, the one where we depend on others for our own faith is the worst. It’s really awful when that eeman-high comes crashing down when you get separated 😦

    So will you be blogging more now? I myself got sidetracked from the blog after Ramadan when other stuff kept cropping up. But now things are settling down, which means I can come and harass you now πŸ˜›

    Anyways, glad to see that you haven’t completely disappeared from here πŸ™‚

    And sis, Allah subhanahu wa ta’aala always has wonderful plans for us. Your time in Australia with those sisters is a gift from Him. Even if you never see them again, the memory will always bring you happiness because they played an important role in your life, brought you closer to Him and touched your life in a significant way.

    Don’t be sad! Hugs πŸ™‚

    • Wa alaik salam wa Rahmatullaah Sis Xahu!

      Masha’Allah!! Have not heard from you in ages! πŸ™‚ Al-Hamdulillah I’m well here and insha’Allah you too? Are you returning to Maldives any time soon? I think the number of years living in a particular country does not matter, but what and how you have spent your time there that makes the difference. So yeah, I’m guessing your time in SL probably had been memorable thus leaving will be difficult 😦

      Subhan’Allah, did you have such attachments to people before? 😦 I think sometimes we don’t realize when we become too attached to the sisters we meet for Islamic lectures, halaqahs etc that the love for them exceeds the love for Allah SWT. And like you said, when they are taken away from us, it hurts us in many ways. Check out the article by the way and insha’Allah you’ll be amazed by how we can easily fall into the trap of being too dependent on His creations.

      Insha’Allah I have been wanting to blog but you know when you have too much time to kill, you end up procrastinating lol. You haven’t been blogging yourself! πŸ˜€ Anyway, you mentioned about setting up another blog on Islam 101 and I mentioned about the ‘Misconceptions about Islam’ section to be included in it? I have not yet looked through it (sorry!) but if you need help with other things, do let me know πŸ™‚ And also, please come and harass me more often lol. You’re probably the only one I’m willingly letting you harass me. And please start blogging tooooo!! I miss your posts 😦

      That’s definitely true sis.. Jazakillah Khayr for the wonderful reminder! πŸ™‚ A sister gave me an analogy of being in a restaurant and you’re being served an extremely delectable meal. But before you could even finish the meal, the plate was taken away from you. Will you sit back and say ‘Al-Hamdulillah, I was given that opportunity to taste something that delicious’ or become upset? After much reflection, I thought of how fortunate I had been to have a taste of this beautiful chapter of my life and insha’Allah there will be more in the future. And I think this applies for almost every aspect in our lives that we take the positive and be patient when something we love had been taken from us.

      I’m feeling much better now al-Hamdulillah! πŸ˜€ *VIRTUAL HUGS BACK TO YOU!* πŸ˜€

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