Assalamualaikoum wa Rahmatullaah wa Barakaatuh,
A friend asked me this question couple of days ago: How did you convince your mom to allow you to wear niqaab?
I replied her saying that it’s a good question because I don’t know. I didn’t sit my parents down and explained to them why I want to wear niqaab or gave them the daleels from Qur’an and Sunnah. I have done neither of that but there’s one thing I realized which proved effective al-Hamdulillah and that is: lots of patience and dua.
When I had the intention to wear niqaab, I was thinking to myself that it’ll only be possible after I got married because at that time, my parents were against wearing big hijaab and abaya. Each time before leaving my room, I would actually make dua that my parents would not tell me ‘go back to my room to change out of my old woman’s clothes’. And if I wasn’t verbally poked fun at by my family for dressing that way, my relatives would do a good job at that. Everyday felt like a battle just to properly cover my aurah.
Subhan’Allah over a period of five years, there was a transition from my former tight clothes to much looser ones along with bigger hijaab. Al-Hamdulillah, it was all by His will. I was starting to wear baggy pants with longer tops, followed by skirts and then dresses and finally abaya. My mom changed her wardrobe as well. One day she told me that she wanted to get rid of clothes that revealed her figure because she didn’t feel comfortable in them and it was replaced by bigger and longer tops as well.
The last bit I want to share is about something which took me by surprise. A couple of months ago, my mom came over to visit me for a few days. We were walking back to my dormitory and the there were a few sisters walking ahead of us. I’m not sure if I have mentioned this before but I’m currently studying at an Islamic university thus the types of clothing we usually see is sisters with baggy abaya and khimar. I was telling my mom that the colour of the sister’s khimar is beautiful but left the part where ‘the khimar is beautiful too‘ out of the conversation because I know how she feels about it.
But then she said it. “The khimar is beautiful too. Do you want me to get it for you tomorrow?”. I was squealing in delight inside, completely taken aback by those words and thinking did my mom actually say that? I controlled my excitement and tried to reply calmly like it was no biggie, “Yeah sure, but just one will do”. The next day when she went out, she bought three different coloured khimars and told me, “Make sure you wear it to class”.
My intention for sharing these is not about my ‘journey to wearing niqaab’ or anything of that sort. The point I actually want to make is that dua changes the impossible to possible if Allah wills it. Several times when we make dua, myself included, we might not have that 100% trust in Allah SWT that it’ll change any of our situations. To those who do not believe, the thought of raising our hands and asking from a Higher being for help may sound incredulous but we Muslims, sometimes fall into that category too. We think, “how is it possible to get out of this problem. No one can help me and you want me to make dua?”; “How can I do this when there is no one supporting me?”.
The truth is, we lack trust in Allah SWT. We know He is there to help when we are in need, but we may think that it is only through our efforts and hard work will things get done. We only give credit to ourselves when we manage to achieve something or solve a problem. But it is only when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, then He comes to the picture as a last resort for help.
If you ask me five years ago, whether there will come a day where my parents will let me wear niqaab, I will tell you that that’s not possible. But I look back now and thought that I must have forgotten that Allah SWT is the controller of our hearts and situations. We think that we have everything within our grasp but the One with ultimate control over everything is Him. I don’t believe I put 100% trust in Him when I made dua seeing how my situation seemed bleak at that time but I knew I had no one to turn to for help except Him.
Whatever situation any of you are in right now, and you feel like there is no way out and no one to listen to you, make dua and be patient of a better outcome. Pray two rakaah for relief if something is distressing you and open the Qur’an when you are in need for answers. Our dependence and reliance is on Him to provide ease for our hardship, not on people and especially not thinking that only we can help ourselves.